Love is sometimes, Unkind

I don’t know how I could explain the feeling, but being rejected, persecuted and being troubled when it comes the love is one of the biggest lessons that I have learned in life. I’m not good at it; it’s so intimidating for me that I’m now appointing love as a failure and most of all, a disappointment.

Being young for love became the great barrier of my “infatuated” high school days. I became vulnerable with the physical attraction yet, numb and weak about the true presence of beauty. I admired her just because I love the way she interpret my favorite song, I became inclined to her just because I have seen the courage to point her the “happy life” that I want to attain and lastly, I loved her because I knew she’s the one making my life complete.

I’m facing the repercussions of saying the word I love you. At first, I’m hesitant to be vocal because I know that in the end, the winner will take it all. Of course, being cognizant with the consequences had boost my mind to do it but what do I expect to happen became a catastrophic point.

A lesson learned but the fact that I have nothing more to say paints my life black. Is saying the words of love a sin? Is it bad to say to the one you love that you love her?

Saying to the person that you love him or her is like submitting yourself to a hard responsibility. Some were accepted but many are rejected. The painful act makes me cry hard as I remember myself creeping out of the dark to cope my life without her.

Now that I heard someone speaking that they will be go strong, an inspiration suffused my heart and mind after my painful experiences blacksmith my consciousness and extensively to my knowledge.

I don’t have grown if I’m still upon her, she had found somebody but I’m still looking for the one, the one that will drove my feet from the ground. Maybe God is writing me the best love story that will transcend me from my raptures but I can’t find the way how, my heart is in total eclipse.

To all the hopeless romantics, remember that love has its own ways. We won’t find for it. Love, in time, will search for us. Our role for love was only to share and treasure not to maneuver and control. But love will first eat you up, kill you up, and will fatigue your heart.

So I think love is sometimes unkind!